Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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