I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
either way he was missing a nipple.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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