You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
