I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
