Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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