Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
