ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
