Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
