Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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