Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
