Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
