I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
