It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
