she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
