So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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