dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
