he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
