I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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