Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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