Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
