Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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