so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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