Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
