you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
