whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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