Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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