Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
