you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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