had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
