I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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