the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
