Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
