i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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