so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
