Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
