Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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