Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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