I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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