My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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