Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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