I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
