Whod you bang
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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