New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
