if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
