Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
