Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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