can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
