spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
