I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
how drunk are you?
Several
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
