Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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