You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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