she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
