Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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