Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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