Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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