I want to stick my p in your. b.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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