Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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