Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
