Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize