To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
