dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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