wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
